Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Long Time Coming

August 2008. That’s the last time we got to visit. It’s been a long time comin’, but this is my last post to this blog. I can’t put my finger on why. I resisted the urge to do this since May. Remember when my husband went back to work? It was really hard to get back in the groove of blogging, even though when I had to semi-give it up in April when he was out of work for a while with his broken arm. It pinched real bad to alter my habits and step away from the PC. I thought once it was everything back to “normal”, that I couldn’t wait to get back “on” on a regular basis. But, it wasn’t like that. I kept feeling like I was being invited to something sweeter, better. I didn‘t answer the invitation. That’s just the truth. I didn’t.

What I did instead? I COMPROMISED! Yeah, that’s a beautiful word, is it not? Not so much? Yeah, I know. A little time away, a little time on. That got me through the summer. I had loads of stuff I wanted to blog about, but I also had a “check” about them. Not yet. Not time. When we left off in August, something unexpected came up on a Friday that completely took my attention away. Diverted my energies to something else. In regards to blogging – I was immediately paralyzed. At first I kept in touch. Then I couldn’t even do that.

2 things. I’m very visual, and back in late April, early May I kept picturing my blog with a picture of a window, shutters closed, and “Closed for Business” written across the front. I did NOT like the picture. I resisted. Kicking and screaming, I resisted. By October the picture was of me in my living room, company pulling up in the drive, knocking on the door (i.e. visiting me on the PC), me peeking through the drapes, so as not to be seen. But, I can’t make myself let them in. I can’t open the door. A sort of paralysis.

A hundred times I felt it would please God for me to shut down the blog. A hundred other times I felt it would please Him that I should push past the malaise, dig deeper and do better than I left off. Indecisive paralysis. Pathetic, eh? In my weak and partial defense, anytime I would try, my computer would “lock-up”, dial-up would be a pain, nothing would work. It seemed pretty clear that I just needed to give up the ghost. Never been good at that, though. Sorry.

Now that I am over the “hump” of decision, I hope to be in contact with those of you who are inclined to forgive my absence, and trust that you remain in my heart and in my prayers. I didn’t keep in touch, because I didn’t know what to say, and didn’t (and still don’t really, but now I am resigned to it) know what was going on. Because that’s the other part of this. There IS a metamorphosis of some sort going on. It almost feels like a bad thing. Definitely a strange thing. But, my God says “No, it’s a good thing”. I see changes in me, that I don’t understand and aren’t clear to me. But, I think a little dose of belated obedience may help things along. As I type, I see more and more clearly, that I am on the right track. And I am excited at what the future holds.

Things are good here. God is still on the throne. He reigns. Always will. He’s on the throne. But I haven’t been heeding Him. He gave me an invitation back in April. I am going to see if it’s still good. Better late than never, at least I hope!

I want to say THANK YOU from all of my heart to yours for your friendship, kindness, and encouragement. Please know that you each, if you ever visited, made my life richer in ways you will never understand. May God richly bless you in your lives in every way, and keep and hold you high above the fray of life, as you give Him glory and honor and praise.

22 comments:

Sharon Brumfield said...

You know we love you girl...you are our sister by blood. We have missed you so much and I am so glad that you came back to tell us bye for now.
We all go through stages of growth...this is where you are now. He promises us that He will complete the GOOD work He began in us. You are going to be beautiful and Free To Fly.
I am here...and I love you and I will keep praying for you.
God brought us together at the cross and we will keep walking this walk here on earth connected by the Spirit. Until of course the day when we will walk arm in arm.
Now that will be a true day of rejoicing!
Keep walking the walk and you will know that we are walling the walk too.
Love ya girl
You have my email. :)

Joyful Days said...

You've been missed, but you need to do what you need to do for Him (and your family).

Glad you posted. I was wondering.

Always in Him,

Julie

Renee said...

God and family come first. You have been missed but never far from our hearts! So glad to hear from you and wishing you all the best!

Regina said...

Sweety,
You have been missed and of course we will miss you more knowing that this is the end (I think without a goodbye post we all hoped you would come back and continue, but alas this feels final...).
Do what ever works for you and yours!
Continued blessings as you move on to your next level in Him!

Tiffany said...

Ok, I just want to cry...I will miss you so much. I've been praying and I will continue to do so. Please e-mail me and keep in touch. I understand. I really do. This -blogging is a hobby, even if it is a great way to connect with other wonderful Christains. It can not take the place of worshipful, prayerful time alone with Him EVERDAY. Otherwise, it becomes an idol. I hope we will still keep in touch, though. I'm always here. ~Blessings my sweet sister.

luvmy4sons said...

Know you are loved and missed. Greatly!

Carole said...

Love you little Miss.

grey like snuffie said...

I had barely started peeking into your world but I loved to hear your thoughts. Good for you, being obedient. Sweet journey, He is indeed faithful and so patient in His love.

sandrahersey said...

Maria,
I was hoping to find a way to email you instead of posting here. I am sorry I did not get to see your posts when you were writing them. I see you have Mel on your blog, she is wonderful, we talk often, her and I.
I would love to catch up. Please email me. sandra@sandrahersey.com or you can get me on www.myspace.com/inspiringrealsuccess
I would love to chat.
Sandra

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What Does it Mean Anyway? "Free to Fly"...

Well, it's like this: Here are some of the Webster's Dictionary definitions of Free: a : having the legal and political rights of a citizen b : enjoying civil and political liberty c : enjoying political independence or freedom from outside domination d : enjoying personal freedom : not subject to the control or domination of another2 a : not determined by anything beyond its own nature or being : choosing or capable of choosing for itself...having a scope not restricted by qualification 7 a : not obstructed, restricted, or impeded ...Now, here are some of the Webster's Dictionary definitions of Fly:1 a : to move in or pass through the air with wings b : to move through the air or before the wind or through outer space c : to float, wave, or soar in the air ... a : to take flight ...6 : to work successfully ...Examples which apply from Websters: fly high : to be elated - fly in the face of or fly in the teeth of : to stand or act forthrightly or brazenly in defiance or contradiction of

What does this mean in my life? This means that in life we are meant to be free. While historically mankind has not always enjoyed the opportunity to fully appreciate what that means, we are so indescribably fortunate as to live in a time of the greatest spiritual, physical, financial and political freedom ever known. Freedom doesn't come cheap, nor does it come easy. But the best things in life don't come that way do they? As I write this I am struck by how this sounds like a political statement, and for me this is much more of a spiritual thing, but, same goes for that (political that is). Freedom doesn't come easy. And it's worth whatever fight you have to make to overcome in your life in order to live a life that succeeds. Now the questions is - what is success for you? What is your standard? In my mind what is needed is a definite target - because you can't hit and maintain a moving target. A stable, rock-solid, anchor with no variable, yet multi-faceted. Something pure, just and worthy. If you look at any web page of news you can see that our society is certainly lacking in this area. What a great time to live as a rebel! Nowadays to be a rebel, all you have to do is be willing to engage in the battle of life, while anchored to Christ!