Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Year of Romance - February



What would romance be with out the gift of laughter?
I don't think it's possible to make a marriage fulfilling
without having a sense of humor, and without a sense of joy,
the more childlike the better.

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So much happens in life, you go through so many disappointments,
hardships, and sometimes even tragedies occur.

Sometimes one or both of you make terrible mistakes.

If you can't learn to laugh at yourselves, in a healthy way,
I think these things take their toll on you.
You become hardened, cynical, and even bitter.
I know for myself, the unhappiest times in my marriage,
one thing that is a common factor, is that tendancy that creeps in to get so stuck
on my "rightness" and his "wrongness" that I don't think anything is funny.
At. All.

Now, we've been together so long, that I recognize the signs so much quicker,
almost immediately.
And sometimes it isn't really what my flesh wants,
but, by now my head knows,
"uh-uh, not doing this, I WILL have peace,
I WILL do what it takes to reconcile this, so the laughter can come back".
For us, laughter is an indicator that the walls are down, the hearts are open.
There is reciprocation.
Because if you will truly share genuine laughter,
you have been let in, and you have let them in.
Laughter is intimate. It's healing. It seems to even change your mindset.
It's like when you can do the work necessary to be able to laugh,
something happens in your heart and mind to let hope come to life, let it breathe.
No hope, no good!
Want hope? Find your laughter.
I can't tell you how. I know it comes more naturally for some than others.
But everyone needs it. And everyone has the capability.
Whether your humor is sophisticated or juvenile,
as long as it is uplifting and not mean-spirited,
then you got IT going on.

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I can't tell you the things our family has gone through,
that our ability to find humor has truly been a soothing influence in.
A healthy respite from the pressures of what was at stake.

Think about it, can you talk bad about that person,
that you just shared laughter with yesterday about your foibles?
Naw, that wouldn't feel right would it?
Could you even consider letting that man at the store, or at work,
or the gym or even church, flirt with you,
when you just got through sharing laughter,
about something personal and intimate with your husband that morning?
No, I can't see how either.
But, if you are withholding laughter.
If you are refusing to let the walls down,
if you steadfastly refuse to encourage him,
and not give him the satisfaction of seeing he CAN make you laugh,
especially after he just embarrassed you like that,
THEN you might be so hungry for laughter,
that you WILL let that other man make you laugh.
And it might feel so good to laugh again,
that well, who knows,
but it's a dangerous road.


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This is SO not what I intended to post on, at all!
But it must've needed saying because
it came after much prayer and re-committing this project to Christ.
So, let the giggles, the snickers, and the sweetness of your lives together
begin to be renewed, restored, and released!
I can't tell you enough how very much I appreciate
ALL of your participation.
I have been inspired, and learned so much from those of you, who have either signed up to do your own posts, or taken the time to not only read, but make comments, either at my site or others who are particpating.
I am humblesd and ecstatic over so many of us focusing on how we can strenghten our marriages, and be a blessing to our spouses. You can NEVER go wrong in that investment! God will always see to it that you are covered
some how, some way!
I encourage you to visit some of our participants who have already signed , or will later this week when their post is ready. You will be enteratained, edified and encouraged!
If you would like to particpate this month, please feel free to sign Mr Linky and leave a comment.
Happy Romancing, Ya'll!




9 comments:

luvmy4sons said...

Amen girlfriend. Laughter is so key! I so heartily agree with your post! Wise woman!

Denise said...

Laughter is awesome for a marriage, in total agreement with you.

Sharon Brumfield said...

This is so right on!
If things aren't right Keith will always try and lighten things up by making me laugh.
There are some huge truths in this post.

RYC on my last post---girl that you would pray for me--that touches my heart. Truly! Brought little tears to my eyes. I don't say that lightly.
Things have been heavy duty here. God is doing some incredible things and there has been great weight. The love of our Father so lightens the weight. To sit in His presence and just soak it in. Makes you feel like you can breath again. Thank you! Bless you!

I probably won't get my post up tomorrow because I will be studying all day and then I have group tomorrow night. But I will get it up this week. I have a good idea of what I will put up.

Tiffany said...

I know when I'm down and my hunny makes me laugh- it really helps! I'm glad you decided to share on this aspect of marriage. I just got mine up! Sorry it's late, I'm running a little behind lately. Blessings dear friend!

Nicki said...

I love this, and it took SO long for Kris and I to figure out that everything doesn't have to be so serious!! It's OK to laugh at our mistakes and make fun out of bad situation! I love it!!

Irritable Mother said...

Yes. Laughter is a very good thing, and I am blessed to share a lot of it with my husband.
Do you know, once he laughed for 45 minutes straight??!! We were at the dinner table and I don't know what set him off, but he couldn't stop. In the end, he was laughing at the fact he couldn't stop laughing.
I seriously had visions of taking him to the ER for help that night! LOL

Cecily R said...

I have no doubt that some of the things that Jon and I have been through in the last 12 years would have broken us long ago without laughter. No doubt at all.

freetofly said...

Leslie, it's our saving grace! Thanks!

Denise, hope you are getting good rest today. Thanks for coming over.

Sharon, you are welcome on all counts! And thanks for making time for your post!

Hi, Tiffany! They pride themseleves, I promise you, in being able to put a smile on our face, or make us giggle.

Hi, Nicki! Yes, life is much sweeter in the laughter! :)

Karen, Oh My Goodness! That's hysterical (no pun intended!). How funny! Well, one thing's for sure, a man like that is not going to let you forget to giggle! That's a great thing!

Cecily, I had to smile at this! Because you guys SOOO get the laughter thing! And I sure hope the new job is going well?

Hey, I have the Season Finale of Monk on Tivo! I can't wait to see it! Did you see the season finale of Psych last week? Did you see the END?! :)

To all:

I am thinking about a short post as a follow-up to this post. My 24 year old son had me read this post to him & he had much insight to it from a man's point of view. I was very honored that he made time and enjoyed it & had input. So, maybe a short part 2! :)

Thanks everybody!

xoxox,
Maria

kassi said...

This is a wise and wonderful post Maria. Thank you for letting God guide your fingers and your heart so that you could write this.

What Does it Mean Anyway? "Free to Fly"...

Well, it's like this: Here are some of the Webster's Dictionary definitions of Free: a : having the legal and political rights of a citizen b : enjoying civil and political liberty c : enjoying political independence or freedom from outside domination d : enjoying personal freedom : not subject to the control or domination of another2 a : not determined by anything beyond its own nature or being : choosing or capable of choosing for itself...having a scope not restricted by qualification 7 a : not obstructed, restricted, or impeded ...Now, here are some of the Webster's Dictionary definitions of Fly:1 a : to move in or pass through the air with wings b : to move through the air or before the wind or through outer space c : to float, wave, or soar in the air ... a : to take flight ...6 : to work successfully ...Examples which apply from Websters: fly high : to be elated - fly in the face of or fly in the teeth of : to stand or act forthrightly or brazenly in defiance or contradiction of

What does this mean in my life? This means that in life we are meant to be free. While historically mankind has not always enjoyed the opportunity to fully appreciate what that means, we are so indescribably fortunate as to live in a time of the greatest spiritual, physical, financial and political freedom ever known. Freedom doesn't come cheap, nor does it come easy. But the best things in life don't come that way do they? As I write this I am struck by how this sounds like a political statement, and for me this is much more of a spiritual thing, but, same goes for that (political that is). Freedom doesn't come easy. And it's worth whatever fight you have to make to overcome in your life in order to live a life that succeeds. Now the questions is - what is success for you? What is your standard? In my mind what is needed is a definite target - because you can't hit and maintain a moving target. A stable, rock-solid, anchor with no variable, yet multi-faceted. Something pure, just and worthy. If you look at any web page of news you can see that our society is certainly lacking in this area. What a great time to live as a rebel! Nowadays to be a rebel, all you have to do is be willing to engage in the battle of life, while anchored to Christ!