And straightway the father of the child cried out,
and said with tears, Lord, I believe;
help thou mine unbelief. Mark 9:24, KJV.
These are words I keep close to my heart. More at sometimes than others.
Yesterday in service, Pastor Phil talked about us needing to believe
in something bigger than ourselves. At some place in the message,
this verse rang in my heart again. It wasn't part of the service, it just kind of came to me.
And I knew then it was not a verse just for me this December,
but a verse for some of you as well.
I thought how much like the little 9ish year olds we are.
You know, the children who still want to believe in Santa,
but find it difficult considering their knowledge.
In many ways we are not so different from those children we use to be, ourselves. We want to believe God for certain things, things which we desire, we even feel that we need. But the circumstances we are surrounded by, seem to make that belief unreasonable, sometimes even unwise, maybe even impossible.
Like everyone else, I have my share of things I am in desire of seeing this side of Heaven. It occurred to me Sunday that there's a certain critical issue that I've been desiring for many years. I get a piece here, and a piece there. Sometimes several pieces all at once.
Those are happy times indeed!
However, I DO believe I may have been getting in a funk with the Lord over my perceived delay in this area. Without realizing it.
I thought it was just a bit of a funk, more with the situation.
But, Sunday I got the impression it was much more with God than I realized.
Not a place I will accept or stay in. I can't afford to stay in this pit.
I'd like to tell you that as soon as I realized my precarious position, I climbed right out.
I really would. I just don't think that's what happened.
I think that first I had to realize the pit I was in.
And admit I am completely powerless to come out of it alone.
He is altogether too, too good to me. I know that my heart can trust Him better than this.
He is worthy. My head knows He is trustworthy, and even part of my heart.
Yet, there remains a stubborn, bruised, closed-off part of my heart that needs surgery,
and needs some, I dunno - maybe physical therapy?
I need to latch onto the things I know about God, and let them speak to my heart, renew it! More so now than ever before.
And let that newness of life His Word brings just push the limits of my heart,
until I can climb right out of the pit.
But, I can't do it without Him, who else will throw me the rope?
There's a part 2 to this. Pop over later this week and I will talk to you about that rope!
Oops! This is Memory Verse Monday! I hope you will pop over to Karen's to find more, and even join if you like!
5 comments:
I am intrigued by what has been going on for you, sounds like a lot of deep waters and a long hidden time. A guest speaker at Church talked about how we are on the cusp of transition (Church world wide) and that we are coming into a new season, one of might (like Joshua going in to the land). The significance of 40 years - 40 years a generation dying out in the wilderness, 40 years since the Israel 6 day war. After a 7 year period of refinement, and more refinement and being in the air-raid shelter (well it's kind of felt like that as I think about it), it's going to be time to come out and possess and claim...felt to share this with you...
I can so relate. I felt as if you were speaking for me at times. I often sense that the Lord is trying to do a work and I am fearful of His pruning of His refining...I hold back feeling safe to remain where I am. Can't wait for part two!
Karen,
Yes in many ways! Thank you so much for sharing what was on your heart, it is very encouraging! The numbers line up & don't you love that 8 is the number of new beginnings? Great expectations!
Leslie,
I love that part of our faith, the connectedness - the shared impressions and experiences. It is a comfort that I believe many seek & I wish more had!
You know, I can't wait either, bc I just know there is one, I am usually not very sure what something will be until bloop! Out it comes!
Well, I guess I was one of the ones you were thinking about. This spoke to me of feeling bruised so I am there with you so much. I think I have an area in my heart with a heartfelt desire. I know God can do it but feel sad that it seems he chooses not to (atleast not in my timing) so like you, there is a part that needs surgery.
Looking forward to reading part two and praying that God will show you his Father's heart of love and touch yours with it too.
Hey there Bunny Girl!
Well, it's not as pretty a work as I like to post, but, part 2 is ready as she's gonna get! I say not pretty bc this one is so very much in the process, I feel extremely inadequate to speak of it, yet, I have also felt that this is what God would have me to share. I believe this is how believers keep going (partially) we encourage one another that we are not in the fight alone! And the best part is celebrating the success as they come along...though many times the process teaches us soooo much, I think the "answer" we were looking for sort of sneaks up on us...that has been the case a number of times for me.
Sorry to be late getting back to you. PC troubles this week have put me behind...that and well, life! :)
I hope you will find refreshment in your journey this season!
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