I must be nuts! That's my only excuse. There is this "thing", this "theme" rolling around on the inside of me. But, it feels way beyond my reach to communicate to you intelligently. I just can't escape the notion that I need to put it out there, come what may. Have mercy if I don't hit the mark! I have to try, right?
If you are feeling any sort of malaise, any sort of ennui this is for you. The years I was searching and searching for that missing piece of me, I felt such discontentment, such restlessness mostly constantly. With only brief interruptions.
Once I could grasp the part Jesus Christ played (Yes I know! Leave it to me to miss the most obvious piece! Such is the spiritual dilemma! The obvious is often hidden from view!) in the puzzle of my life, I was so thrilled to have purpose and clarity regarding my role in life, things which had previously eluded me.
Since that time 15 years ago, when the puzzle pieces clicked into place, seldom have I felt that lack of zest for life. Why? Because as soon as I feel the hints of it, I take it as a clue that I'm requiring a tune-up. I draw near to God. Having spent years in the prison of discontentment, I know the cure is MORE OF HIM! I spend more time looking at Him, thinking on Him, reading His Word or or other's words who are creative and who are also filled with Christ (C.S. Lewis is an author who comes to mind of late.). Now, to be VERY, VERY clear...I am NOT speaking of the weariness of life, the weariness of waiting for a breakthrough, an answer, the fruition of our hopes and dreams. That's a WHOLE separate issue. I am talking about knowing that when we lay down tonight,when our head hits the pillow, we have a sense of satisfaction that we got something done that was pleasing to the Lord. We fulfilled at least a tiny portion (that's the most we can do some days, and that's A-OK!) of our calling. Life in the midst of serving where He desinged us to operate can be frustrating as we deal with obstacles, can be wearing as we push through wearisome tasks and periods, and can be heartbreaking as we deal with the fall out of a fallen world. But, the kicker is that it's also heartily satisfying, gratifying, breathtakingly beautiful, comforting, absolutely exhilerating, and many times even hilarious.
I can remember the relief I felt to know there was a purpose to life, and part of my purpose was to be a wife and mother. Now, I know, that should have been obvious to me to begin with. Yet, it had escaped me! To know Christ, was to know my purpose. To know my purpose was to bring a zest, and a relish to even the most mundane details of life. From packing lunches to helping out in Youth Group, to learning how to tie my husband's ties. You'd be amazed at the color and fragrance it brought to life.
Some 15 years later, The Lord is STILL revealing His purpose for me and in me. Day by day the story of my life, and your life unfolds. I was conversing with a wonderful dear bloggy friend via blogger comments about a week ago. The talk concerned how seemingly difficult it is for God to make everyone unique. Every since then I have been thinking that it's alot like salt!
Try this, when I was a young teen, my dear mother let me experiment a whole lot in the kitchen. We learn the most from our mistakes you know! One time I made a chocolate cake and forgot the salt (I wasn't used to focusing on all those pesky little ingredients - but I did learn to thank goodness, eventually!). So anyway, this cake had NO flavor! All those yummy ingredients and no flavor. Another one, is when I was a young married, one time the husband of a couple we went to high school with came in for dinner after drill (they were in National Guard Reserves together, my Honey and he). I had made pot roast, and all the good stuff that goes with that. He raved on it. It was sort of embarassing. But, it turns out that his wife did not salt their pot roast, so what he was so happy about was the savory flavor of the roast with SALT! Salt was the missing ingredient in both cases!
If you have not yet connected the dots to fit Jesus into your life, think about checking Him out as the missing ingredient! IF you have Him, and life is not savory, not purposeful, spend more time getting to know Him. Ask Him about the mully-grubs you are feeling - He WILL day by day make the great things He has put into you begin to unfold! You will not be disappointed!